Have you been trying to find a way to kill it softly? Have you tried to start the “awkward conversation” a bunch of times but keep getting thwarted? If you know that it’s time to part ways, chances are that so does she. But you also have to remember that everything you do with this situation is going to be analyzed by every single one of her best friends and possibly your future girlfriends to come.
While it is true that breaking up is hard to do, you can still get through it without looking like the bad guy. How can you do that? By making sure you DON’T use any of the following worst ways to break up with her. Why? Because in your effort to not look like the bad guy, that’s exactly what you are going to accomplish if you use any of these methods of getting out of it.
- I’m too busy for a relationship. No you aren’t, and she knows it. She knows and you know that if you wanted THIS relationship, you would make time for it – just like you make time for your relationship with your poker buddies, your employer and your dog. You weren’t too busy to call her at 3 a.m. for a booty call, and you’re not too busy for her now. You just don’t want to make time for her…anymore.
- It’s not you; it’s me. This is in the hall of fame of worst breakup lines. You already know it, but we’re saying it again because it’s just…wrong. That means nothing. She is looking for you to say something that honors what you had, not something that honors what is wrong with you. She will, with the help of her aforementioned best friends, have a nice list of what is wrong with you by the evening’s end, unless you don’t use this line.
- You deserve better. Unless you are looking for her to finally find a reason to realize she really does deserve better, don’t use this line. You don’t want her agreeing with you that you aren’t good enough, and this is precisely what you are setting yourself up for. Not only that, but you don’t buy it either, so why presume she is dumb enough to fall for it as well? This is not as romantic and sweet as it sounds because life is not a Sandra Bullock movie, and she knows this.
- I’m not ready for a relationship. This one may or may not be true, but more times than not, this phrase gets uttered and then four months later, you are engaged to someone else, which is really going to contradict your previous statement of not being ready for a relationship.It’s up there with being too busy for one. This just isn’t the case. You might not be ready for the kind of relationship she wants, or you just don’t see it going anywhere with her. There’s nothing wrong with saying that to her. In fact, she would prefer that over some confusing nonsense that doesn’t make sense.
- The fade to black. This, other than the Post-It note that appeared in a Sex and the City episode, is probably the least courageous and most offensive breakup. This one says, “I have no spine and am just going to disappear from your life with no explanation.” Here, you don’t answer texts, emails or phone calls and hope she finally gets the picture. Oh, she does, and she’s probably put a curse on you for doing so. If she starts to act a little “psycho chick” after you pull this, it’s not her; it’s you. This is as rude as it gets when it comes to breaking up with someone.
The Bottom Line:
When it comes to breaking up, yes it is hard to do. If you can get through this awkward conversation the right and honest way, then it will be one of those experiences in life that you leave feeling like a real man.
All anybody wants when it comes to love is to be treated with respect and dignity, and if you can even get through your breakups in this way, then your love life to come will be a rewarding one indeed. Just use your common sense, and be honest as you get through it, and you will avoid becoming “that guy” that her girlfriends will want to rip to shreds. If you can make her last impression of you as kind and as sweet as her first, she’ll never have any reason to say a bad thing about you.