Does it feel like everything she does lately is really aggravating? Have your friends even started complaining about her? Have you started hearing the phrase, “Remind me again what it is about her that makes you so happy”? It’s not even necessarily something about her anymore; it just doesn’t feel right…or something. If you’re not sure whether it is time to move on or it is all in your head, see if any of these nine signs you might be dating the wrong girl wave a red flag in your head.
- You’re unhappy. Plain and simple, this is not an essay question. You’re either happy or you aren’t. It’s normal to have bumps in the road in your relationships and in life in general, but if the word “happy” makes you feel sad because you can’t remember when you last felt that or because you feel like you will never feel that again, you might be dating the wrong person.
- You don’t feel good about yourself. When you are in a good and healthy relationship, you feel that way about yourself as well. You feel good and healthy because you have someone in your life that makes life worth living.
You know you add to their life, and that makes you feel good. You contribute to society by loving someone. When that feeling ends, the relationship is on its way out. You should never sacrifice your self-esteem for someone else, which can happen in dysfunctional and unhappy or toxic relationships. If something in your relationship begins to undermine who you are as a person, you might be dating the wrong girl.
- You don’t get back to her right away. When you hear from her, you could care less. Or maybe you care a little bit but you don’t jump to get back to her right away. When you do, you are on the aloof side. Whether you have just started dating or you are considering an engagement, this is one of the first telltale signs before even your family has started to notice.
- Nobody in your life is sure why you are with this person. At first it was just your mom complaining about her, but she’s done that with every other girl that you have brought home. But now it’s your friends too. And the people you work with. And your neighbors. It’s not you; it’s her. And it’s time to cut your losses sooner than later. Otherwise when it does come to an end, and it probably will, all of those people will be the ones shaking their heads, “I never knew what you saw in her.”
- You never think about her. You might even think of someone else more. If you don’t think about her, don’t think that you are hiding it well. You aren’t. She knows. And if you think the relationship is going to last, it won’t. Nip this in the bud, especially if someone else is clouding your thoughts more. It’s your life, your happy, go after it.
- You defend her, even when you don’t believe it yourself. Your friends and family might have issues with her that are serious. Or things might come up that are a little off-base or out of the normal range, but you dismiss them because you have always felt that your relationship was based on love and trust.You might even confront her. Her excuses are believable, so she seems defensible to you. But when this starts happening more and more often, you are going to stop believing the excuses yourself. If this sounds all too familiar, you might be dating the wrong girl.
- Everything she does irritates you. This point is often reached after a serious wrong has occurred in the relationship, and it is difficult to get back to that point of unconditional love and trust again.
Sometimes you can’t get back, and that respect never returns. Then everything she does will aggravate you. But even if no wrong has ever occurred, sometimes this just happens after the honeymoon phase of dating someone new wears off. You can’t even help it, even if you want to.
- Your instincts are screaming at you that this is all wrong. You know whether this is true just by reading that statement. If you got a lead feeling in your stomach when you read that, then you’re dating the wrong girl.
- The cons outweigh the pros. This is where your instinct and state of denial kick in. Even when you are faced with the cold hard facts that this girl is nothing but wrong with you, you still do everything you can to ignore the truth. Your instinct needs to be listened to even more here. Make an actual black and white list if you have to. If you can’t come up with much for the pros, you are not dating someone that is good for you.
The Bottom Line:
The bottom line is that it’s OK to want to be happy in love; that’s the very point of love to begin with. If your friends and family have started to notice as well, that’s a pretty good sign that you are in the wrong relationship. They love you and only want to be happy and can see better than anyone else when you deserve better in your life. But sometimes we get stuck in experiences where we feel obligated to stick it out because we made promises and commitments.
The truth about relationships is that rarely does it occur where only one person is unhappy at a time. If you are unhappy, your partner is as well. Do yourselves both a favor and pursue your own happy on your own terms, even if that means pursuing that separately.