It is a pretty well-established school of thought that there is no point in even asking her out if you are just setting yourself up for rejection. Even so, nothing in life is guaranteed, and you will never get further with the feminine side of life if you don’t at least put yourself out there once in a while. It would be so much easier if you could just get a few clues about whether or not she’s interested enough for you to get an enthusiastic “Yes!” Would you be surprised to learn that she’s probably already given you a few?
And if she hasn’t, then that information is clue enough in and of itself. The Social Issues Research Center asserts that 55 percent of our communication is nonverbal, meaning that more than half of what she is trying to tell you is not coming out of her mouth. So what are these mystery nonverbal clues she is trying to send you? Here are they are, the seven lucky signs that say, “Ask me out please!”
- She has an open posture: If she is sitting or standing across from you, an open posture means her feet are facing toward you. If her arms are folded or she is standing with her hips pointed toward the door, she is sending you a very subtle, and not-so-nice message.R. Don Steele, author of Body Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship and Dating, says an open posture is her subtle way of saying, “The door is open; green lights ahead. Please ask me for my number.”
- She touches or flicks her hair: In the bird kingdom, when a female does this, she is preening for a member of the opposite sex. The same thing is true for humans, male or female. You can read up on this one on every literary journal from the New England Journal of Medicine to Cosmopolitan magazine; if she is touching her hair, she most definitely IS just that into you.
- She only looks at you: She’s the kind of girl who is cool enough to hang out in mixed company with, but sometimes that makes her an even harder read. Julie Spira, body language expert and author of The Perils of Cyber Dating, says that women don’t have the time that men have to dart their eyes around the room checking out mates. If she is zoning in on you in a mixed function, she’s ready for you to do the same.
- She touches parts of her body that she knows you like to kiss: If you are having a conversation with her and she keeps touching her wrists, her neck, her shoulders or her lips, then she is trying to send you a not so subtle message, at least according to Janice Hoffman, author of Relationship Rules. She claims we only touch ourselves when dating for two reasons ¾ to draw attention to that part of the body or to subconsciously tease the person we are with.
- She’s mirroring you: Mirroring is another age-old nonverbal tactic theorized and written about by everyone from Dr. Freud to Vanity Fair. Mirroring is exactly what it sounds like. If she is copying your own nonverbal cues, she is trying to show you she is in sync with you.This may happen subconsciously, or it may be a conscious move on her part. Either way, if your head is leaning on your hand at lunch and hers is too, and you know yours was first, she’s into you.
- She’s close enough for you to kiss her: Hoffman addressed in Relationship Rules the two times women invade personal space: 1. When they are protecting their young, and 2. When they are making a mating move.Women have a natural respect for space boundaries, so if she is crouching in on yours and suddenly moves close enough for you to kiss her, it’s not rocket science. She wants you to kiss her, or she’s taking her child from your arms.
- She (not so) “accidentally” bumps into you: Again, women have a true innate sense of not wanting to touch or be touched by anybody they have decided to rule out. Even if she has only subconsciously decided not to date you, she will also subconsciously place her body as far away from you as possible.If she accidentally bumps into you, she wants to touch you, and that’s the only way she can figure out how to let you know she exists. Tracey Cox, author of Hot Relationships, says that before you even have a first kiss, this will be her boldest move yet.
The Bottom Line:
The bottom line with decoding women’s nonverbal cues is to just use your common sense. If the nonverbal vibe around the girl in question is good, chances are she likes you.
Men have a tendency to over-think the signals women send, when the truth is they are just as human as the rest of us. Women are very clever and have an innate sense of instinct when it comes to personal space matters. If she is getting into yours, it is a calculated move on her part, even if it is a subconscious one. If she’s copying your moves, looking you in the eye, and getting as close to you as she possibly can without jumping onto your lap, we are guessing, she’s just that into you.